They Said I’m Too Educated to Be a Good Wife

by Amarachi

If I had 1k for every time someone told me, “Na book you go marry?” I’d be richer than Dangote’s gate man. 😩

Let me take you through the wild ride of how my education almost made me a bad wife candidate in the eyes of society.

Spoiler alert: I’m still very single, but not stupid.

First Class Wahala 🎓🥇

I was the first daughter of five children born in the sweet dusty city of Awka. My father was a strict man with an unhealthy obsession for academic excellence. You’d think he invented WAEC.

From a young age, it was clear I was the bookworm. While other girls were learning how to tie gele or seduce their crush with rice and stew, I was calculating compound interest and explaining photosynthesis to my younger brother, Chinedu.

By the time I finished secondary school, I had 9 A’s. First class in Economics from UNIZIK. Best graduating student. People clapped like I had just saved Nigeria from economic collapse.

But that’s when the real trouble started.

When the Degrees Start Scaring Men 🏃🏽‍♂️📚

See ehn, when I was struggling to read in school, nobody told me that too much book can affect your bride price.

My aunty, Aunty Blessing, called me one day and said:

“Amara, you are doing too much. Men don’t like women who talk too much book. You’ll intimidate your husband.”

Intimidate who? Am I a lion?

She said I needed to “cool down my CV” before I spoil market for myself. That I should stop saying I want to do master’s and PhD. That I should start learning how to kneel down to serve food and use respect to greet.

You won’t believe this same woman was shouting “Genius!” the day I got my scholarship letter.

Mr. Right Turned Left 🤦🏽‍♀️

That’s how I met Tochukwu, fine boy with sense and swag. He said he liked that I was smart. He said, “You’re different. I can talk to you.”

Lies. 🚩

Everything was sweet until I got accepted into a fully funded MSc program in the UK. When I told him, man looked like NEPA took his destiny.

“So you want to go and leave me here? You’ll change. You’ll come back and be forming oyinbo.”

I said, “No now. It’s just 18 months. I’ll come back.”

Bros ghosted me two weeks later. His WhatsApp DP disappeared. I heard he started dating one girl that fries yam by the junction.

The same guy that used to brag, “My babe is going places.” 🤡

My Mum Joined the Choir of Critics 😭🎤

When I came back from the UK with my second degree, I thought I’d be celebrated. Instead, my mum sat me down and said:

“Amarachi, this your education is now becoming a problem. All your mates have children. You, you are gathering degrees. Are you building school?”

She even called a prophet to pray for me. Prophet said I had a spirit husband that loves smart women. Can you imagine? 😭

That night, I opened my fridge, brought out ice cream, and toasted to my ‘demonic intellect.’

Even my younger cousin, Chinyere, who barely passed JAMB, was now married to a mechanic and expecting her second child. And everyone celebrated her like she cured malaria.

The Office Nonsense 🏢😤

If I thought family was bad, the workplace was worse.

I got a job in a consulting firm in Lagos, and during a staff hangout, one of the married male managers said:

“You’re pretty for a smart girl. But I pity the man that will marry you. You’ll argue everything.”

Sir, I only asked if your analysis was backed by data. You said the economy is growing and I asked, “Based on what?”

Another colleague once told me, “You’re wife material but your material is too expensive. Men just want cotton, not Gucci.”

Omo. 😩

Pressure Cooker 🥵🍲

Now I’m 31. I have two degrees, a good job, a car, and I live in Lekki.

But according to society, I’m incomplete.

Every wedding I attend, someone must corner me and say, “You’re next in Jesus’ name.” One aunt even added, “Just lower your standard small. All these book men no like am.”

So let me get this straight, because I refused to be a baby factory or marry just anybody, I’m suddenly problematic?

One day, I asked my mum, “Would you rather I marry a man who beats me, cheats on me, but I have ring on my finger?”

She kept quiet.

Because deep down, she knows what society wants is not a good marriage. They just want a married woman, even if she’s dying in silence.

Final Note 💬❤️

• Education doesn’t reduce your value as a woman, it increases your options.
• The idea that smart women can’t be good wives is an outdated scam.
• Don’t dim your light to fit into someone else’s shadow.
• Marry someone who is proud of your growth, not intimidated by it.

I may not be married (yet), but I sleep well at night, no regrets, no fake smiles, no spiritual husband. Just me and my degrees chilling in AC. 🧘🏽‍♀️💅🏽

And to all the “too educated” women out there: you’re not too much. They’re just not enough.