We Fought on Our Wedding Night Over Egusi Soup

by Aisha Abdullahi

If anybody had told me that Egusi soup, yes, ordinary soup, would nearly end my marriage before it even began, I would have slapped them with a hot fufu ball. But alas, here I am, telling my own tale.

My name is Aisha Abdullahi, born and raised in Kano, a proud Arewa girl with a stubborn streak and a love for spicy food that could wake the dead. My husband, Farouk, is from Kogi, and while I adore him like the jollof I pretend I know how to cook, I had no idea our biggest cultural clash would happen in bed… with soup. 😩

Let me take you back.

💍 The Wedding Wahala

Our wedding was everything I prayed for. The Kayan Lefe, the colors, the food, the music, everything was perfect. My mother kept saying,

“Aisha, make sure you respect your husband. First night is spiritual o!”

Farouk and I didn’t exactly court traditionally. It was a mix of modern texting, sneaky glances at family functions, and that one time he bought me suya and I knew, this one is husband material.

So, when we finally got married after a slightly dramatic family approval process (my aunt swore he looked like he had secret children), I was relieved.

But nothing prepared me for our first night.

🍲 It Started with Egusi

So, we got to our hotel suite in Abuja. Beautiful place, flowers everywhere, AC colder than Sani Abacha’s handshake. The plan was to rest, eat, and do… you know, the do 😏.

But me, I was hungry. Famished. I hadn’t eaten much at the reception because of makeup, hugs, and being spun around by my cousins like a merry-go-round.

I turned to Farouk and said,

“Baby, where’s the food?”

He smiled like the proud new husband he was and said,

“I ordered your favorite, Egusi soup with pounded yam.”

Pause.

My smile faded. “Egusi?”

“Yes na! You said you liked Egusi when we went to that Bukka joint near Zaria Road.”

I blinked.

“Farouk, that Egusi had bitterleaf inside. Not this bland one.”
“So? Soup na soup, babe. Calm down.”

😤 Enter the Drama

Now, before you judge me, understand something. In my family, first impressions matter, especially when it comes to food. I had packed a special pot of Miyan Kuka with spicy dried fish and tuwo, and my plan was to surprise him. But he beat me to it with Egusi without pepper.

One spoon in, and I lost it.

“Farouk, you call this Egusi? This watery thing? You married me and brought this as bride price?”

He laughed. He LAUGHED.

“So now you’re rating my food choices? You wey no sabi even make tea?”

My eye twitched. I dropped the spoon.

“So you’re calling me useless in the kitchen on our wedding night?”
“I’m just saying, oya sorry na, but you’re overreacting.”

BOOM.

That’s how the shouting started. In a five-star hotel room. On our wedding night. Over soup.

🙄 Things Escalated Fast

He called his mother.

Yes. He called his MOTHER.

“Mama, Aisha is crying because of Egusi soup.”

I heard her ask from the other end,

“Is it that watery one your aunty makes? That thing dey cause problem since 2002!”

That’s how I knew my mother-in-law was a real one.

But still, the embarrassment nearly swallowed me. Me, Aisha. Cried on my wedding night not because of passion, but because of pepperless Egusi.

🛏️ The Aftermath

That night, we both slept on opposite ends of the bed. The silence was louder than a generator in Kano heat. 😤

The next morning, he woke up early, left the hotel, and came back with a steaming bowl of Miyan Taushe, two boiled eggs, and an apology.

“I may not get your taste right all the time,” he said, “but I’ll keep trying, because I want to learn your love language. Even if it’s in soup form.”

I cried again, but this time for a different reason.

😂 Our Inside Joke

Now, three years later, every time we argue, he brings up that Egusi night.

“At least I didn’t serve you bland soup today o!”

Sometimes, he’ll randomly whisper in my ear,

“Egusi dey kitchen, abeg no vex.”

We’ve come a long way. I’ve learned to eat his version of Egusi without vomiting. He now knows the difference between “soup” and “offense.”

💡 Final Lesson

Dear new couples, you see that first night? Don’t let food disgrace you. 😭
Marriage is not just about love. It’s also about patience, understanding, and knowing that sometimes, war can start from soup. 🥣

Also, marry someone who can laugh with you when you fight over nonsense. Because in the end, it’s not the Egusi, it’s the effort.

Would I do it all over again?
Yes. But next time, I’ll carry my own cooler of soup. 😏